He's Just Not That Into You

I like perusing the trending topics on twitter. Holy crap there is so much there to analyze. Or maybe it is simply a black hole of analyzation/over-analyzation. I don't know. I haven't quite figured it out. 

The latest one that I literally cannot stop reading is the #hesnotthatintoyou trend. Here are some examples of the broad range of responses from comedic to disturbing. Now keep in mind, these cleverites only have 140 characters to convey why "he" may not be into you. This cruelly includes the actual #hesnotthatintoyou hash tag which brings it down to a challenging 123 character limit. So again, here are some examples (complete with original grammar errors) with a little bit of commentary by yours truly. 

*Warning: This post contains vulgar content at times. So stop reading my blog to your kids like I know you all do all the time. Friggen weirdos.*

"if he rather go rub mama feet than chill wit u."

If a man's only way of communicating that he's not into you is to rub (presumably) his mother's feet then that sort of begs the question of why you're into him? I guess Oedipus had his share of girlfriends, too.

"if he keeps his shoes on during sex"

There are possibly several reasons for wanting to keep your shoes on during sex that have nothing to do with not being into you. What are they? Oh, I have no idea. I said possibly.

"if he never wants 2 b seen in daylight with u...u mite possibly b very unattractive as well"

What I like about this one is that both points mean the same thing and yet it is presented in a way that makes me believe they actually had a thoughtful, rational moment there at the end. 

"if he beats your ass... leave that chump"

Whoa, whoa, whoa....just because he "beats your ass" does not necessarily mean that he is not into you. It may just be his love language. It's best to simply endure the beatings and deduce his in-affection for you through more reasonable means...like forgotten birthdays and anniversaries and stuff.

"if he sneaks into the girls bathroom to write on the wall about you lol"

Hey! I'm writing a book about that. Keep it up, you classy gentlemen!

"wen yall fuck if he beatin his own shit 4 da last 5 minutes"

"if he gets mad at you for falling asleep with him inside you ;-)"

Wow. I don't know what to say to either of these. It is interesting though that about 98% (including these two specifically) are submitted by women. 

"if y'all been dating 4 a minute && when u finally meet the homies he introduce you as his home girl"

I don't know much about urban slang. But I would imagine that being introduced as home girl to the homies would be a term of endearment. If "homie" = "friend" then doesn't it follow that "homegirl" = "girlfriend"? I'm guessing this person thought about this conundrum 10 times longer than I did.

"when he nevers gets jealous anymore"

This one actually kind of made me sad.

"but the Lord is...."

You've always got to have someone from the evangelical community reminding you that god loves rejected people.

"if he doesn't tell you his last name..or his band name..or anything really. and he probably has a gf."

I hate to say this...but it kind of sounds like you knew what you were getting into, Backstage Betty. 

"if all he does is sleep on u when u talking about babies lmao nvm it depends cause it could be cause he just tired ahaha"

I often find that when I am tired, the most comfortable place to sleep is literally on top of a human being. 

"when you rash his ass to death the way you keep doin lmao...your a goon!"

This one started as a reasonable point...and then just got kind of mean. No thanks.

"if he makes you take a shower before you do da grownfolk..Lol"

This may or may not be true depending on the mysterious definition of what the "grownfolk" is. I think we can all agree on the ambiguity of this. What if doing the "grownfolk" means visiting his parents to discuss marriage? In that case he is probably very into you and requesting that you bathe is reasonable if not imperative. This advice blows. 

"if he tells you he likes gay"

Yeah, he may not be into you if he likes gay.

"if he introduced you as a friend and youve been fucking for years"

So the lesson being that after fucking for years you're no longer friends?

"if u ask him 2 come see u & he says no but he tweets he's in Harlem at da chicken & waffles spot."

I've never had chicken and waffles, let alone visited a spot so known for them together that it has become it's identifier. Maybe they are that effing good.

"if u snug up to him and look him in the eyes dreamy, kiss him n say i luv u, then he exhales loudly n says FUCK MY LIFE"

Maybe he had a rock in his shoe?

Fuck It - Jesus

For some time now I've been really fascinated with the slogans people write on walls, bathroom stalls, and phone booths. Being fortunate enough to travel for a living has given me the unique opportunity to see a broad stretch of strangeness jaggedly scrawled across America's urinals, green room walls, and airport partitions. 

I decided that I want to write a book about it. I'm still working on what that might look like but it's exciting to me. Before I had a futurephone I would write these things down on bar napkins and my hand. Now I have lovely pictures that I will cherish forever in my digital universe. Here are some of my favorite recent samples.

I guess this is an apocryphal quotation??

I don't know who Tony is. But whatever he has done to even tacitly have been immortalized in this bathroom in this fashion likely means that he is, indeed, an asshole.

This explains so much about the entire emo subculture and their tireless angst.

Ah, the ever evolving mating strategies of the 21st century man.

I think this was an existential collaboration and that comforts me in a way that is almost embarrassing. Almost.

A Quick Tour Update

Greetings blog nerds. I'm off the radar a little bit during these strange days but I did just want to take a few minutes to update from a lovely spot in Asheville, NC. I've been on the road for the last week with another two to go with Griffin House. The dates are posted to the right under "Upcoming Shows" so if any of you live around those towns let me know and I'll put you on the blognerd guest list. 

It's been a lot of fun. We're doing the tour as a duo so we just packed a few guitars in Griff's car and hit the road. It's been good to make music. To see America and watch all of the leaves change. To feel the cold and connect with people and learn to listen and love better. I've never before felt so much and been so unable to articulate those things. Maybe I'll make you all a mix tape. 

This is a live studio performance of one of my favorite new songs off Griffin's new record. I hope you're all well and that we can all make proverbial love with each other somewhere along our broken roads

Griffin House "River City Lights" from Palestra Music on Vimeo.

Red Shift Glow

New song.

"Red Shift Glow"

I don't know where the light is

Or how far this tunnel may go

But it's as good a place to rest your heart

As any I might know

It's the last call in a lonely bar

Say hello to the lonely stars

They're running away

Running away from each other

If you've made it this far

Then how much of you has died?

And would you breathe into the lungs

Of the love you killed to survive?

It's the last call in a lonely bar

Say hello to the lonely stars

They're running away

Running away from each other

We're all running away

Running away from each other

Run

Run

I don't know what this life is

One spinning, great black hole

But in the dead of space I see your face

Lit up with red shift glow

It's the last call in a lonely bar

Say hello to the lonely stars

They're running away

Running away from each other

We're all running away

Running away from each other

Who Will Guard The Door?

I've been writing a lot lately. It's been really nice. I'm going to share some of the songs here as well as some from the last batch of hymns I've written. I hope you enjoy them. Click on the title for the free download.

Who Will Guard The Door?

Put your hands inside my coat
Its starting to get cold
I'm wired to stay warm
and i am wired to stay close
I am no philosopher but i know a couple jokes
I can listen with the best of us
and I've got a hand to hold
I am like the rest of them
but i am not the same, my love

who will guard the door while we're asleep?
rest above our heads while we are dreaming?
who will hold our secret safe to keep?
if not you
if not me

walk with me a block or two
tell me what you do
do you serve drinks on a jet plane
do you have a favorite Dylan tune?
i don't know what's mine to give
and i feel a bit confused
I wrestle to the ground my doubts
but they threaten to break loose
you are like the rest of them
but you are not the same, my love

What else are we to do
there's no way out but through
i swear i never meant to hurt your heart
and if we hold on tight
wont make the wrong things right
and so we'll say goodnight, but
how i long to fall in love
how i long to fall in love with you

but who will guard the door?

Thoughts On God and September 11th

** I'm not an overly sentimental person. I didn't plan to write any of this. Smarter and greater men and women than me have undoubtedly written better essays today about the events eight years ago. But these things were on my heart and my mind. So I humbly submit them to Clintland. I hope it finds you well and peaceful. **

Anyone who invokes god into the events of 9/11 has a lot of explaining to do. There have been several different ways that people, the world over, have posited god's proximity to this great tragedy. There are two that I want to talk about and then some closing thoughts that I think represent a bigger picture. Here are the two common belief systems about god's relationship to 9/11. I'm open to hearing alternatives.

1. God actively orchestrated the events as a form of judgement.

2. God took no pleasure in the events but chose, for varying reasons, not to intervene.

God actively orchestrated the events as a form of judgement.

I read an article today about Henry Blackaby, the author of the unbelievably popular "Experiencing God" series as well as a prominent evangelical leader. Amongst other things he had this to say:

“Many of the pastors never connected 9-11 with God's warning to people in America-that he's beginning to remove the hedge of protection from America because of the sin of God's people,” Blackaby said. “But God's people never make the connection with their sin.”

“You ought to see what hell is like. It's going to be an eternal judgment of God on all people. The final judgment will be more severe than this.”

Interestingly, the believing community differs on why judgment was necessary. Out of all the strange reasons for this judgment, the two that inevitably float to the surface are America's "evil" tolerance of homosexuality and abortion. What does it say about god that he is so easily incensed by the fledgling affairs of human beings? That he would send 3,000 people to their deaths in a terrorist attack. That he would send a tsunami to kill 11,000 people in Asia. That he would send Hurricane Katrina to kill 2,000 people and displace and destroy lives of countless others. The bible unsurprisingly supports this kind of behavior as we read that god sent a plague killing 70,000+ men simply because David took a census (II Samuel 24). 

Yeah but isn't a census when you eat like 100 babies thereby inviting the wrath of God??

No, a census is actually just counting people.

Oh, that does seem a little over the top.

Indeed. I think what these things ultimately expose about the nature of god, if they are true of course, is that he is clearly made in the image of man and shares with man the propensity for jealousy, retaliation, cruelty, and general megalomania. 

God took no pleasure in the events but chose, for varying reasons, not to intervene.

Depending on your theological preference you may interpret god's inaction a couple of different ways. A more reformed tradition might say that the events are part of a large providential plan and, though we may not understand it, we must trust that god's inaction is not evil but inscrutably good and beyond our reasoning processes and our judgement of good and evil. The whole "gods ways are not mans ways", etc.

In a more arminian tradition one might say that god chose not to intervene because he has given the human race free will. In a strange act of forfeiting his own omnipotence god has spun the world like a top and let it spin according to it's own moral and eventual destiny, acting more as a deity, unable, by his own restrictions, to meddle with human affairs. God cannot be implicated in human suffering because people are evil, the world is fallen, etc.

Both interpretations are open to criticism and beg explanation.

In the first case (god's providence) you can't even really say that god was inactive. You are intellectually bound to admit that god in fact orchestrated the event himself. The horror of this notion is self-evident. For you to make this connection then you must undoubtedly make god an active agent of every world disaster in history including the Holocaust. This ironically is not as shocking as it should be if one has any comprehension of god as portrayed in the bible, particularly the old testament. Do we not read of god drowning the entire world in Genesis 6? Do we not read of god's desire for world annihilation in Exodus 32 (v. 9-10) and Numbers 14 (v. 11-12)? What are we to make of this god who is so apparently loathing of his very own creation? A god who, at any moment, may destroy not only your very existence, but everything you have ever known or loved? The apostle Paul was right to antcipate the question in Romans 9, "why does god find fault with those of whom never even had the hope of believing his salvation?" and his response of, "who are you to talk back to god?" becomes more and more lame as we all seek to understand a world filled with so much pain and injustice under the supposed helm of a "good" god.

In the second case, the claim that god was heartbroken by 9/11, yet cosmically bound by his own generous gift of free will fairs no better for the morality of his own tacit involvement. It has been said god's own saddened countenance at the unfolding events was only half of his emotional response and that part of him was rejoicing to bring all of the victims into his loving arms. This very thing was actually said to me today. I appropriately reminded this person that, of course, god only welcomed into his loving arms those victims who happened to be professing Christians. Statistically only 1 out of 3 people profess Christian faith. This means that, at the very best (assuming that all of those professing Christianity actually believed in it), of the 3,000 victims only 1,000 of them went to heaven while the remaining 2,000 are either annihilated at best or burning in hell (at this very moment) for all of eternity. And god rejoices at this? 

An astute observation was made by Epicurus in the 4th century. It reads:

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then He is not omnipotent. Is He able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is He both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is He neither able nor willing? Then why call Him God?"

Clint, thank you for admitting the early origins and vast unoriginality of the Problem of Evil. We're all totally amazed at your ability to read books.

It's true, the argument from the problem of evil in a world with a benevolent god is very old. Yet it remains perpetually...crucially, relevant and I have yet to see it satisfactorily answered. There is the aforementioned, "who are you to question god" polemic which, by the way, pathetically parades as a sort of metaphysical, authoritative response when it is clearly a distracting and manipulating evasion used to abuse ignorant people, but we're a little too grown up for the "because i said so" stuff aren't we? Especially when the ramifications are so destructive to our own civilization. 

Conclusion

It's awkward, but necessary (and overdue), to say outright that the attacks on the WTC were motivated not by politics, poverty, socioeconomic disillusionment, or even religious fanaticism. They were motivated by faith. It's really as horrifyingly simple as that.

What the heck do you mean, "faith?" Have you lost your marbles? How can faith be responsible for what those fundamentalist extremists did?

The mission statement of Al-Quaeda begins by quoting the Koran saying, "Slay the pagan wherever ye find them." This is one of several similar admonishments in the Koran (Surah 2:191, Surah 4:89, Surah 47:4). People do not kill themselves over political dogmas. They kill themselves because they believe martyrdom has ACTUAL implications on the reality of their eternal souls. The Muslim faith unequivocally places value on martyrdom and jihad, promising it's followers not only personal salvation (which includes the proverbial 72 virgins) but also salvation for most of their family (hadith 2562).

These are people who believe...every bit (if not more-so) as much as their Christian or Jewish counterparts...that the Koran and the hadith are the perfect, unchanging words of God. You may very well say, "Well they are delusional to believe this." But why would you say that? What evidence do you have to support your own religious convictions about your holy book? I doubt many of my readers are losing sleep worrying about converting to Islam. Why is that? Is it at all disconcerting to know that there are billions of people in the world who believe completely different, potentially eternally punishing, things about the universe?

But those people only represent a minority of extremism in the faith! Chill out, broseph.

Be that as it may, the scary thing is that they are simply the ones who actually believe in their holy books and, to a horrifying degree, are willing to put their life on the line for it. How many of us have, by way of moral progress, quite frankly omitted entire texts from our tradition's holy book? In recent years we've amended several reprehensible views on women's rights and slavery. Was this because of or in spite of our holy books (rhetorical, people)? We read of God commanding filicide and yet we consider a person mentally deranged for killing their children because they believe God has told them to do so (http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/03/29/children.slain/). Are these people, in fact, insane? Are they fanatics? Or are they simply exemplifying unwavering faith? 

There are approximately 1 billion Muslims in the world. How are we to move forward in the hopes of evolving a civilization without 9/11's? Convert them all to Christianity? Even if that were possible (it isn't), is perpetuating blind faith really the answer? We live in a world where someone can be educated enough to build a bomb and yet still believe that god will give him 72 virgins in heaven, or believe that all abortionists are mass murderers. This is not a world with a future. We simply will not make it with these things circling one another.

I agree. Let's get rid of Muslims!!

This is not at all a criticism of Islam alone. Again, it is a criticism of blind faith. Our western religiosity is marked by it's own equal atrocities from the inquisition to slavery to misogyny to mass genocide to gang rape to imperialism, etc. 

Oh, bummer.

Yeah. BUMMER. 66% of American evangelicals claim to believe that the rapture will occur sometime in the next fifty years. If they really do believe this (and I doubt they do, actually) then what kind of implications does that have on building a future without these violent events? How will people who believe the end of the world is imminent, and believe that the end of the world is the BEST thing that can happen, make good neighbors? How can this practically be so?

To honor the victims of 9/11 we cannot benignly offer prayers and make meaningless accolades about peace as the moderates do. We cannot blame homosexuals and abortionists and general human behavior as the fanatics do. We cannot give god the moral "get out of jail free" card as the liberals do. We must responsibly criticize the blind faith that led to these events and work together to build a co-habitable future that does not involve 80,000 nuclear weapons with helmsmen who represent all kinds of evidence-less beliefs about god, the end of the world, and reward/punishment consequences in their eternal destinations.

 

Here's to hoping we evolve,

Clint Wells

Putting It Mildly, Etc.

"One must state it plainly. Religion comes from the period of human prehistory where nobody-not even the mighty Democritus who concluded that all matter was made from atoms-had the smallest idea what was going on. It comes from the bawling and fearful infancy of our species, and is a babyish attempt to meet our inescapable demand for knowledge (as well as for comfort, reassurance and other infantile needs). Today the least educated of my children knows much more about the natural order than any of the founders of religion, and one would like to think-though the connection is not a fully demonstrable one-that this is why they seem so uninterested in sending fellow humans to hell." - Christopher Hitchens

Art and Science Pt. 1 (I Think The Blog Police Will Approve Of This One)

sub⋅jec⋅tive   [suhb-jek-tiv]
–adjective
1. Existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to the object of thought (opposed to OBJECTIVE ).
2. Pertaining to or characteristic of an individual; personal; individual: a subjective evaluation.
3. Placing excessive emphasis on one's own moods, attitudes, opinions, etc.; unduly egocentric.

ob⋅jec⋅tive   [uhb-jek-tiv]
–adjective
1. Not influenced by personal feelings, interpretations, or prejudice; based on facts; unbiased: an objective opinion.
2. Intent upon or dealing with things external to the mind rather than with thoughts or feelings, as a person or a book.
3. Being the object of perception or thought; belonging to the object of thought rather than to the thinking subject (opposed to SUBJECTIVE).
4. of or pertaining to something that can be known, or to something that is an object or a part of an object; existing independent of thought or an observer as part of reality.

I’ve been having an interesting dialogue with several friends the last few days about subjectivity and objectivity. The two big themes have been with Art and Science. Notice I used the proverbial capital A and S to indicate the bigger, more inclusive picture of both terms. Obviously both art and science have a beautiful and mysterious overlap in all sorts of dimensions. We hear about the art of medicine or the art of communication. One could even posit that the human interpretation of a collection of data could be stylized or artful. And on the other hand we hear of the science of architecture. There is an entire host of scientific laws that govern the simplest mechanisms of my guitar playing. The painter’s canvas and paints exist only because of specific chemical compounds and atom distribution, etc.

So, granted, this is not a black and white issue. Both worlds complement one another. Borrow and steal from one another. Like most things worthy of rational inquiry and constructive dialogue, the issue is colored in a heavy shade of gray. This, as some of you may know, is a world I operate in often.

As someone who makes and participates in a lot of art, I have a hard time seeing any objectivity in the creation of/reception to art. As an admirer of science, I can see how the pursuit of science and interpretation of science may be subjective, but the reality of science I can only see as objective. For example, Newton, upon discovering the universal laws of gravity could have simply said, “This discovery is for my own subjective pleasure and I wish not to share it with the world.” Or perhaps he could have said, “I discovered these laws because of my own emotional and historical relationship with falling down.” But the truth is that if he never shared his ideas with the world, gravity would still exist. And whatever historical subjectivity he brought to the discovery of gravity does not change at all the physical reality and nature of gravity itself. It lies outside of human emotion and experience. This is not true of something like Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony. Or Abbey Road. Or Yeats. Or Hemmingway. Or Rembrandt. Those things only exist because of subjective reality. Ultimately the subjective reality of the artists and then through the subjective reception and interpretation of people.

This is a SUPER basic example of where I tend to lean. I realize the vast minutia of overlap and the subtle ways both art and science wear one another’s mask. That is why I want to have the conversation.

So, fellow blog nerds, the question is this: Can art be objective? Can science be subjective? If so, how? Don’t feel like you have to make a case for both or all of it. I’m just interested in some of the general thoughts about the subject.

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious - the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. - Albert Einstein

Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009)

This is my obligatory goodbye/thank you post to the late Michael Jackson. I curiously note that my small essay becomes lost in the many thousands of posthumous accolades the world has suddenly decided to dole out onto MJ. This same world that has virtually despised Michael Jackson for the last fifteen years has now realized what a treasure we have lost. I suppose this is a “better late than never” situation but I cannot help but wonder where all of these fans were when MJ was infamously accused (and acquitted) of child molestation, exploited again and again by the media, navigating financial ruin, or making one of his most vulnerable (yet commercially unsuccessful and largely ignored) records to date (Invincible…seriously check it out). The world never really got over Michael Jackson’s strangeness and while I think I can sympathize with that it also disappoints and saddens me.

I never knew the MJ of my parent’s generation. They practically grew up with him, sharing in the mnemonic benefits of “ABC” as well as the touching, child-like faithfulness of “I’ll Be There.” The boy Michael was an absolute star, a status typically reserved for white adults. In that way the anomaly of Michael Jackson transformed every child in America into an extension of his stardom. Children, who have little fear of the unknown, must be taught racism and therefore had little trouble cross culturally identifying with him. This racial transcendence stuck profoundly with Jackson as evident through his controversial skin color change in the late eighties/early nineties and remains a pleasantly remarkable accomplishment to me.

In 1979 the twenty year old MJ released Off the Wall. My parents were in college most likely discovering sex, drugs and comparatively liberal education for the first time while capitalizing on the death rattle of disco to songs like “Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough” and “Rock with You.” Off The Wall was really MJ’s first foray into sexual innuendo. For my parents and their generation this was hardly cause for concern. They were all discovering their own latent sexuality and who better to explore those things with than Michael Jackson? The Jackson 5 always represented strong moral and family values (which was a joke as it turns out). It was refreshing to see that MJ had a libido too. To rub against the outside of that moral center had to have been exciting. Even if I’m dead wrong about all of that, Off the Wall is a badass record, and more importantly, a snapshot of a time when the world was still in MJ’s corner.

I was born in 1983 which means that the song “Billie Jean” was probably playing in about 1,000,000 homes as I was pulled into the world, coughing and screaming, cold and astounded, eager to begin my postnatal existence. My earliest musical memory is being five or six years old, sitting in my toy closet and staring at the Thriller vinyl for hours. I can’t recall where I got this but it was my first vinyl. My grandfather had given me a small record player and I would sit in the closet and listen to it over and over and over. The album sleeve contains a picture of MJ with a baby tiger which I found both fun(ny) and horrifying. MJ was just absolutely mythological to me. In my more cerebral moments (as cerebral as you can be at age five) I used to think about what the mythology of Thriller meant to me with my life outstretched before me. That is legitimately how magical that record was for me. It made me believe in things I had no proof of yet. In less serious moments I would dance for hours (my first memories of dancing, actually) to “Billie Jean” and I was utterly convinced that “Beat It” was one of the most badass rock and roll songs ever recorded (turns out I was pretty much dead on). Thriller is currently the highest selling record of all time and I am happy and thankful to have understood why (even subconsciously) at such a young age.


In the eighties (ages 0-7) my television watching experience was exclusive to MTV, the Disney Channel (favs were: Adventures in Wonderland, Fraggle Rock, Under the Umbrella Tree), and horror movies. This is important because the visual element of Michael Jackson is a case study of its own. I’m going to try and avoid the cultural significance of MJ’s music videos (they were fucking revolutionary to the art form) and instead just try and focus on my personal feelings about them. First of all there was the video for “Thriller.” As a music lover and an avid fan of horror this was (and is) perhaps the greatest video of my life. In this video an exceedingly charming MJ both consoles and teases his love interest when she get’s freaked out by a werewolph movie (interestingly this movie is about how MJ is a werewolph). She’s playing along, kind of digging it (who wouldn’t?) until suddenly a bunch of zombies climb out of their graves. As if this situation couldn’t get any worse, it turns out that Michael is also a badass, dancing zombie. The girl runs into a house and up the stairs (one of the top five things NEVER to do in a horror movie scenario) and before she is ravaged by these brain-eaters she awakes to find it was just a dream, which truthfully kind of disappointed me. But the cherry on top of this whole deal is when MJ looks back at the camera and has zombie eyes. I mean, wow. Can you imagine a six year old clintboy taking all of this in?? Sheesh. Joy overload.

Then there was Bad and it’s amazing collection of videos. This era marks the first real controversy about the changes in MJ’s appearance. It’s interesting to look back at that time and remember not thinking anything of the fact that this iconoclast had gone from looking like a black man to a white man. I mean, I NEVER even questioned it. This (in conjunction with pictures of MJ sleeping in an oxygen tank, a $1 million request for Elephant Man’s bones, and the acquisition of a pet monkey) is when my parents quit referring to MJ as the King of Pop and started using the cruel term, Wacko Jacko. These things hurt my feelings and like most kids my age I felt as though it was my duty to stand up for MJ. All I knew was that “Bad” was indeed extremely badass. I FELT badass just listening to it. The titular song and video contained messages of finding your own identity and resisting peer pressure. When MJ wasn’t
encouraging kids to think for themselves he was doing really crazy things like gravity suspending dances as a magical crime boss, moonwalking through zoot suit saloons, and morphing into random objects (at the end of the "Smooth Criminal" video Michael Jackson transforms into a fucking spaceship!) I must have logged about 1000 hours playing the game Moonwalker on my second hand Sega Genesis (24-bit, bitches). In 1990 I was eight years old and going to sleep with a poster of Bad attached to my ceiling looking down on me. All things being equal, I was sleeping in a bed with Michael Jackson, too. At that age it didn’t seem strange at all. In fact, it seemed like an absolutely magical endeavor. (This is a picture of my comic book collection box from 3rd or 4th grade. It lists my favorite bands of the time: Pearl Jam, Guns 'N Roses, Michael Jackson, Dr. Dre, and interestingly, the entire genre of "rap." This picture proves that I am an original gangsta MJ fan.)

It was in 1992, at the age of nine that I received my first compact disc as a gift from my good friend, Aaron Shaffer. And what was my first ever compact disc? You guessed it: Michael Jackson’s Dangerous. I used to stare, hypnotized, at the artwork (pictured to the right) for this record. It was so bizarre and intriguing. My family only had one CD player and it was about the size of

a pizza box. So, in order to transport this glorious recording to school and to my friends’ hous

es I convinced my mom to let me buy the cassette as well. For this I will always be thankful to my mom for constantly accommodating me when it came to music. One of my most fond childhood and musical memories is of walking the streets of my suburban Birmingham neighborhood with my best friend, Aaron. We both had our walkman tape players, headphones, and the Dangerous cassette. We would count to three and press play at the same time so that we could both jam together. It makes me smile to think of two nine year olds walking down the street singing (we took turns on lead vocals) “Black and White”, attempting the moonwalk, and falling into a fit of laughter, celebrating life to the soundtrack of Dangerous. I grew up in a divorced home and my family was split between Birmingham and Montgomery which meant long drives back and forth twice a month. In the early nineties the three tapes that accompanied me on those confusing commutes were Ten (Pearl Jam), Use Your Illusion II (Guns 'N Roses) and Dangerous. I can't help but psycho-analyze that those three enigmatic frontmen (EdVed, Axl Rose, and MJ) helped build a character framework for dealing with those long drives, helping me navigate feelings of alienation, loneliness, and uncertainty. It is a sweet memory.

One more story before I wrap all of this up. In 1995 MJ released HIStory which was half greatest hits and half new material. The first single was a song called "Scream" that was hands down my favorite song and music video of that year. I was thirteen and played baseball. At a day practice that summer I brought a boombox and attempted to play the entire HIStory record while we hit and threw baseballs. About 45 seconds into "Scream" (track one) I was ridiculed and forced to stop the record...which was actually pretty horrifying at the time. Because I wasn't playing it as a novelty. I was playing it because I LOVED it. It was also an interesting video to experience puberty with (thank you, Janet Jackson). It's nice to look back on that moment and realize that my love for that song has far out-stood my love for baseballs.

It doesn't take a psychology degree to deduce that MJ never really dealt with his childhood. Confronted with such an intense amount of public adulation in direct contrast to the personal abuse and neglect he suffered in his home suggests that he never really experienced any kind of childhood, much less a normal one. He even called his home the Neverland Ranch, obviously symbolizing a place where you never grow up. That's why kids have always loved him and that is why he always made so much room in his life for children. He was a regressive child. That's not to say that he was never clever or calculating. Almost every weird thing you have heard about him and oxygen tanks and bone collecting were purposefully leaked to the media and carry little real truth. He never bleached his skin. He suffered from vitiligo. Already suffering intense self-image issues he went through puberty (complete with complexion issues...which I also dealt with extensively) in the limelight. His frequent rhinoplasty surgeries left him borderline unrecognizable. It is difficult to think of the mental state he was in to allow all of those things to transpire. The last fifteen years of scandal surrounding MJ have pulled at the same heartstrings in me that felt the need to defend him at age seven. There is a kid inside of me that still pulls for Michael Jackson because I guess I believe he always would have pulled for me. Maybe that sounds lame. I don't really care.

What's remarkable is that through all of this adversity MJ managed to become one of the most iconic artists in history. He has sold over 750 million records, annihilated racial barriers in the music industry, revolutionized the music video, created entire sub-genres of dancing, has the highest selling record of all time (Thriller), and holds the world record for most charities supported by a pop star. There is a lot of polarization about Michael Jackson. I've been really surprised by the cynicism on both sides of the reaction to his death. A woman I work with casually remarked that she hoped he was burning in hell. I don't know what to say to that. As far as I'm concerned he is a Beatle. An Elvis. A fucking Mohandis Ghandi. And the world is less rich without Michael Jackson.

I know this was long. It was mostly for me and for that reason I am not sorry. But if you did make it this far, thanks for reading. I wanted to make this interactive so let me know what your favorites are or if you have any similar childhood MJ stories. Several years ago I wanted to buy my younger brother three records that I felt like defined me when I was his age (he was 13 at the time). The three records I picked were The Beatles' Abbey Road, Fleetwood Mac's Rumours and MJ's Bad. At what age would an MJ record have made your top three list?

Top Three Records:
1. Bad
2. Dangerous
3. Thriller

Top Three Songs:
1. The Way You Make Me Feel
2. Man in the Mirror
3. Thriller

Top Three Videos:
1. Thriller
2. Smooth Criminal
3. Leave Me Alone

I hope that wherever MJ is, he is resting peacefully and never growing up.

Mid-Year Book Review 2009

Welcome once again to my mid-year book review. This has been a fun year of science reading and because of the emphasis on non-fiction I've read less books than previous years. While this may also be due to the advent of netflix and cable TV, I'm tempted to blame the dense nature of my new found reading curriculum. Subsequent book reviews can be found by clicking on the "book review" tag at the end of the post. If you've read anything this year you think I may like then throw it at me (not literally...give peace a chance).

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

Ninth grade was an interesting year for me. It was the last year that I played sports (baseball, tennis, wrestling) and the first year that I got a guitar and offered myself forever to the gods of rock and roll. I discovered Fleetwood Mac, fender telecasters, Kiss Alive II, assorted bongs, Conan O’Brien, my first lost-love and of course, Stanly Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange. I had an older friend named Joe who sort of took me under his wing. He was the one who showed me this film along with KIDS, Faces of Death, Velvet Underground bootlegs and my first ever pornographic film (aptly titled City Lickers). I say all of this to illustrate that A Clockwork Orange (film) was part of huge cultural watershed era for me. So not only does it have general significance for truly being a great story, but also personal significance for teaching me so much about sexuality, morality, and the ethics of institutionalization. The book oozes brilliance and ranks #3 on my top five list. Highly recommended.

A&R by Bill Flanagan

I’d been hearing about this book from a lot of my music buddies for years. It was written by Bill Flanagan, current senior VP of VH1 and a veteran in the music industry. You may have seen him in the latest Tom Petty documentary (he had incredibly insightful remarks about one of my favorite TP records, Echo) or read his wonderful U2 book chronicling the Zoo TV Tour (U2 at the End of the World). This book is a fictional story about an A&R Rep (talent scout) that leaves a small label where he has complete creative freedom to go and work for a monster label that threatens to corrupt his values. As far as providing insight into that side of the music industry this is a fantastic and fascinating read. The actual writing isn’t as great, but it goes down easy and is a lot of fun especially if you love music.

The Witches by Roald Dahl

When I was on tour in Colorado we stayed with some very kind friends who were English majors and literary nerds. We spent a lot of time talking about Ginsberg and all the beat poets and laughed over assorted David Sedaris essays. The room the band stayed in was the den and, to my great delight, contained the master bookshelf. Of all the wonderful literature at my disposal the one that caught my eye was this wonderful, dark children’s book by my favorite childhood author. The other guys decided to have a Kubrick marathon (The Shining, A Clockwork Orange, Eyes Wide Shut) while I hunkered down in a corner and revisited that old charming, British hotel filled with witches, reuniting myself with the grand high witch, Brutus and the cigar smoking grandmother. I read it in one sitting and closed my eyes to dream a dream of mice and witches with the lullaby mantra of “redrum” pervading my subconscious. It was wonderful.

Seize the Day by Saul Bellow

I bought this at the most fantastic used bookstore in the country: Powell’s in Portland, Oregon. This place literally covers an entire city block and boasts four stories of high shelved, used book delight. I think I actually spent my entire week’s per diem there in a span of a few hours. One of the many books I bought there (several of which are represented in this book review post) was this Saul Bellow classic. It follows a day in the life of the tragic Wilhelm, a failed businessman estranged from his wife and navigating an extremely complicated relationship with his father. The best thing about this book is the way Wilhelm talks both to himself and others. It is one of the most poignant comments on despair I have ever read. And for that reason it is my #1 top five favorite. Stellar book.

The Varieties of Scientific Experience: A Personal View of the Search for God by Carl Sagan

This was a wonderful and easy book to read about how science speaks to mortality. Carl Sagan has such an endearing tone and circumvents strong, polarizing ideas in a way that invites the reader into engagement, no matter which worldview they are coming from. One of the most interesting moments of the book is the inclusion of a Q&A session Sagan did on a panel. It is interesting to see how he reacts with his audience. How kind his is to the antagonists and how rewardingly articulate and insightful he is to sincere seekers. It’s a great introduction to his work if any of you are interested but don’t know where to begin.

Unweaving the Rainbow: Science, Delusion and the Appetite for Wonder by Richard Dawkins

As the title suggests, this book is about replacing what was formerly mysterious about the world with the knowledge that has been uncovered by science. It has been said that to explain the mysterious somehow makes something less beautiful. In response the author says, “Knowing the truth frees you from the fear of the dark unknown, and enables you to look for the beauty in a simple beam of light.” This book engages that idea head on suggesting instead that knowing the true reasons for something as elusive as the appearance of a rainbow actually speaks MORE to its inherent beauty than a primitive mythological explanation. This book is mostly an abstract conversation between Dawkins and the great poet Keats and leans heavily on the work started by the great scientist Sir Isaac Newton, the original unweaver of the rainbow.

A Good Man Is Hard to Find by Flannery O’Connor

I can’t say enough good things about this woman and the great work she left behind. This collection of short stories is perhaps the best introduction into the southern grotesque world of her writing. My favorite stories are "The Artificial Nigger", "Good Country People" and, of course, "A Good Man Is Hard to Find." Last fall I was introduced to two audio feeds of Flannery reading AGMIHTF as well as some essays from her collection of prose, Mystery and Manners to a group of college students at Notre Dame. If you’re interested in that audio then let me know and I’ll get it to you. As far as the book goes, it receives my highest recommendation.

Quentin Tarantino: The Man and His Movie by Jami Bernard

This book was informative but was limited by the fact that it only covered Quentin’s career up to Jackie Brown. Although it was kind of dry, what it did cover was very interesting, particularly the True Romance and Natural Born Killers eras. A decent read for any Tarantino fan but I imagine there is a more updated biography out there at this point. I just jammed on this because it was used at the aforementioned bad ass used bookstore, Powells. I do remember that when I finished this book we had just played a show to nearly 500 people in Cincinnati and while everyone was out being social I was grumpy and hung over, laying on a coach in the green room with a giant penis crudely drawn on the wall next to me. Ah, memories.

Slash by Slash

As a lifelong GNR fan I was absolutely ecstatic to read this autobiography. It’s about what you’d expect from the guitar player of a coked out L.A. metal band from the eighties. It is one story of rock and roll debauchery after the next. I don’t participate in much rock and roll decadence culture but I still loved every second of this book. As usual, the writing is pretty terrible but well worth it to have an insider’s view of the monolithic world that was Guns ‘N Roses. I read this book during a few days off in Chicago hanging out with Lizard.

The Future of an Illusion by Sigmund Freud

I read this book on a long night drive leaving Boston tired and happy, mildly drunk in a van with my friends. It is a short work that attempts to predict the nature and relevance of religion as society evolves. Freud was, in so many ways, a great prophet in the sense that he had remarkable foresight and a steady hand on the pulse of human desire and behavior. Long after his death in the first half of the 20th century his voice continues to speak. In many ways he is still foretelling the future of our civilization and that is quite a posthumous achievement.

Billions and Billions: Thoughts on Life and Death at the End of the Millennium by Carl Sagan

At this point I have read several Sagan books and this one is my favorite. Within this book is a remarkable essay on the abortion issue as well as fascinating insights on the astral projection phenomenon and near death cathartic experiences. As usual Sagan’s calm and serene tone continue to encourage us to think critically, to value skepticism and to pursue rational inquiry. While writing this book Carl Sagan was diagnosed with terminal cancer. His process of fighting cancer was long and prompted him to write the last chapter dealing with his impending death and the questions of mortality. He passed away while writing the last chapter, leaving his wife to courag

eously finish it for him. It is a touching essay on the value of life and how the only immortality we know of for sure is to leave behind a life rich in love and work. Highly recommended and #5 on my top five list.

Don’t Know Much about Planet Earth by Kenneth C. Davis

This was a quick, fun read that I bought at the beach on a vacation with Liz. Written for children, it’s filled with a lot of fun (but astounding) facts concerning our planet. It deals with each continent explaining what is unique geographically about each. I think I read 90% of this book drunk so I can’t say for sure, but as a neophyte science nerd, I think I dug this.

The Discovery of Our Galaxy by Charles Whitney

I found this book used in Boulder, Co. It was published in the seventies which would normally turn me off as a science book, but it offered a fascinating history of the telescope and the discovery of nebulae and galaxies. It is a wondrous thought to consider that we exist on the obscure spiral arm of a fairly typical and unremarkable galaxy. One of billions of known galaxies in the observable universe. To actually ponder this truth is startling. However, as unsettling as it is to face your own insignificance, this is the most firm place to set out on finding existential meaning in my humble, rarely errant opinion. This book was a great encourager of that process. But it is fairly dated regarding modern science’s understanding of our galaxy so I do not recommend it.

Brocca’s Brain: Reflections on the Romance of Science by Carl Sagan

This is yet another collection of wonderful modern science essays from the beloved planetary scientist, Carl Sagan. There is nothing particularly remarkable about this one. It is the usual endearing and highly interesting work that Sagan is so fondly remembered for.

The God Part of the Brain by Matthew Alper

Thanks to my buddy Carla Jean, a fantastic and prolific writer for Birmingham magazine, you can see my review for this book here. But for continuity’s sake I’m putting it here as well. This book proposes that the cross-cultural human desire for spirituality, eternity and transcendence can be explained physiologically. It’s a thorough read filled with compelling evidence to suggest that mankind evolved a particular neurological brain system (the god part of the brain) as a coping mechanism to survive mortal consciousness. We are the only creatures who know that we will die. Our mortal consciousness makes us the greatest species on the planet, but has also caused us the greatest anxieties. To cope with this anxiety (and in essence to survive as a species) natural selection evolved within us a set of genes responsible for our desire for transcendence as well as other beneficial tendencies such as altruism, morality, guilt, ostracism and taboos. It is an aggressive work but also very fair to what has historically been a polarizing subject. This book is great for anyone with the capacity to think critically while pursuing truth. Oh and nerds. Like myself.

Fargo Rock City by Chuck Klosterman

My younger brother, Jacob, and I were hanging out one Saturday. I met him at a bookstore and he was a little late so I popped in to waste some time. While in there I stumbled upon this book and found the concept interesting. An intellectual and unashamed diatribe on the importance of 80’s Hair Metal. I had heard of Klosterman before but I had no idea he loved some of the metal that I grew up listening to and loved. With entire chapters devoted to the November Rain music video and song by song philosophy deconstruction of unmasked era KISS records, I knew this book would be a joy to consume. I’ll spare you all the tension: It was. Fourth favorite so far. Highly Recommended.

Mere Anarchy by Woody Allen

I read this collection of essays one Saturday morning. It was brilliantly written. Surprisingly smart and insightful, this book is filled with subtle hat tips to the proverbial existential crisis and, at some points, absolutely absurd. My favorite essay by far was “Strung Out”, an amusing story that blends scientific concepts with the highest forms of witticism. It begins like this: “I awoke Friday, and because the universe is expanding it took me longer than usual to find my robe.” That sentence alone held captive many giggles from my body which is a great picture of my entire relationship with this book. As a side note I bought it a thrift store for 99 cents!!! Thrift stores are easily the BEST places to buy used books.

Freakonomics by Stephen D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

This was an amazing group of essays dealing with a variety of subjects. This book tackles the statistical evidence of cheating teachers on statewide testing, thrown matches within Sumo wrestling, the hard lined economics behind urban crack rings and, amongst other things, the social impetus placed on children by the naming process. By far the most fascinating essay deals with how the low crime rates of the 90’s can be systematically linked to the legalization of abortion in the seventies. The best thing about the book is that all of this information is communicated clearly and with wit and humor, two things I rarely associated with my economics classes in high school and college. This is a must-read for anyone who loves FACTS.

Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry

Reading a Wendell Berry novel is like eating your favorite meal with your favorite person in the middle of a beautiful sunset and being able to stop time to soak in every morsel of truth and beauty and joy. Every upturned rock of his narrative contains something transcendently memorable and insightful. Hannah Coulter is a story of love and love lost with strong threads of community, waiting, life, death, suffering and membership. As is typical with Berry’s novels, they are slow burners but some of the most rewarding reads I’ve come across. This one made # 2 on my top five favorites so far. Highly recommended.

Why I Am Not a Christian and Other Essays by Bertrand Russell

This was a fascinating read. As a typical rule you should always look to see who your favorite writers’/artists’ favorite writers/artists are. In that way I stumbled upon Bertrand Russell via Richard Dawkins and happily discovered one of the great literary and philosophical minds of the twentieth century. This collection of essays deals scathingly with the issues of religion and violence. I really do believe that anyone (religious or not) would benefit from spending some time with this book. One of the more interesting sections is in the epilogue where the historic case of Bertrand Russell’s persecution from teaching as an honorary professor at Columbia University in New York is expounded on and recounted in great detail. It is both interesting to see who stood up for him (most of the U.S academic community including Upton Sinclair!) and who fought against him on grounds of superficial and petty moral ethics. A classic.

Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

After reading and loving Fargo Rock City this seemed like the next logical step in the Klosterman cannon. I found it highly entertaining, very smart and a joy to read. However, for the first time I felt a tinge of annoyance at Klosterman’s unceasing reactionary sentiments. A master at making anti-cool cool, it seems as though he forgets that he epitomizes most of the uber-intellectual, post modern novelty snobs he makes fun of. Sometimes it seems like he gets this, other times he seems oblivious. The man can write better than most non-fiction authors I’ve seen in the last decade, he knows a hell of a lot (too much, probably) about popular culture and dabbles in just enough Gen-X existentialism to satisfy me fully as a reader but to also wear me the hell out. I’m taking a break from this relationship. I need to see other people for a while. But I’ll always remember the nights we had. Magical.

The Demon Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan

This one was a lot of fun to read. It deals mainly with the issue of the pseudo-sciences (astrology, astral projection, tarot, alien abduction, and paranormal activity) and how pervasive it is in our current culture as well as our brief but dense history as a human race. We all want to believe in the supernatural. That somehow a fortune teller can help us avoid danger or pursue success. That aliens leave us messages in crop circles. That out of body experiences prove without a doubt the existence of a soul (very little real evidence for this, btw), or that our lives and relationships can be hinged upon the movement of the planets. We hope for these things the way a child hopes for the care and control of a parent. We desperately want to believe that there is something beyond us that will save us from ourselves. The main thrust of the book is sympathetic to these feelings but also presents the more beautiful alternative of provable science as a way of dealing with the weight of insignificance. Highly enjoyable and thought provoking.

Top Five Books from Jan-June 2009:
1. Seize the Day by Saul Bellow
2. Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry
3. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
4. Fargo Rock City by Chuck Klosterman
5. Billions and Billions by Carl Sagan

Obviously, I Am More Influential Than The Holy Bible

Griffin House Shows

I'm playing a few shows with Griffin House this weekend in Ohio. If you live near and you like to ROCK then come on out.

A Weekend Of Shows With Roman Candle

Greetings constant readers. I just wanted to let those of you local to the Birmingham and Atlanta areas know that I will be playing two shows this weekend with Roman Candle.

On Saturday, June 20th we will be playing City Stages on the Boost Mobile Discovery Stage at 7:00 PM.

On Sunday, June 21th we will be playing The Park Tavern in Atlanta with my buddy Charlie Mars opening the show.

Come on out and dig some good rock and roll.

Moses the Rapist

Numbers 31:7-18

7 They fought against Midian, as the LORD commanded Moses, and killed every man. 8 Among their victims were Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and Reba—the five kings of Midian. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword. 9 The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder. 10 They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps. 11 They took all the plunder and spoils, including the people and animals, 12 and brought the captives, spoils and plunder to Moses and Eleazar the priest and the Israelite assembly at their camp on the plains of Moab, by the Jordan across from Jericho. [a]

13 Moses, Eleazar the priest and all the leaders of the community went to meet them outside the camp. 14 Moses was angry with the officers of the army—the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds—who returned from the battle.

15 "Have you allowed all the women to live?" he asked them. 16 "They were the ones who followed Balaam's advice and were the means of turning the Israelites away from the LORD in what happened at Peor, so that a plague struck the LORD's people. 17 Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, 18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

Notice first that they killed every man. Wow. I find it difficult to believe that every single Midianite man was guilty and worthy of being slaughtered. What if you happened to have been born a Midianite? Think about it.

So then all of the women and children were captured and taken to Moses and he was furious. Why? Well because all of the women were allowed to live, of course! They had apparently taken the advice of Balaam and seduced all of the Midianite men away from God. Again, are we to believe that EVERY Midianite woman participated in this?

Well, it turns out that it would have been better for them to have been slaughtered because the alternative is the closest thing to a living hell I can imagine. First, all of their boys were slaughtered (take a guess why the girls weren’t.) Then all of the women who had slept with a man were slaughtered. By the way, in biblical times how did they know if a woman had slept with a man? That violating test might have been as horrific as rape itself. Then the leftover women were “saved for themselves (Israelites).”

I doubt that they all had nice weddings on a hilltop with a consensual honeymoon. These women were raped and humiliated after seeing their families and homes completely destroyed. All of this at the word of Moses, the rapist and woman and child murderer.

Deuteronomy 20:10-14

10 When you march up to attack a city, make its people an offer of peace. 11 If they accept and open their gates, all the people in it shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you. 12 If they refuse to make peace and they engage you in battle, lay siege to that city. 13 When the LORD your God delivers it into your hand, put to the sword all the men in it. 14 As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. And you may use the plunder the LORD your God gives you from your enemies.

Another standup order from Moses. Theologians defend this passage by saying that peace was offered before violence. Well verse 10 quite clearly says that they were marching to attack the city. I wonder if a small army of religious zealots came to attack America, but first offered us peace as long as we let them onto our soil, what we would do. Actually, I don’t wonder about that as I’m fairly sure we would take the offensive…which would be the reasonable thing to do. You don’t approach someone to attack and then give them the opportunity to make peace. Besides, the Israelite’s version of making peace most likely included enslaving all of the men and raping all of the women. Something worth defending if you ask me…but then again, I’m not a murdering rapist.

Once again all of the men were to be murdered. This is referred to as mass genocide and we typically either put people who commit this act in jail for life or we systematically murder them ourselves. But Moses (along with several other biblical mass murderers) get’s a pass, I guess.

It’s a pretty clear message about how Moses valued women when he refers to them as “plunder.” He also, in the last verse, makes a pretty distinct connection between the plunder (women, children, and livestock) and a gift from the LORD their God. What does this say about their God? Some of you are frustrated at me for implying that God was okay with a lot of this behavior. Well, what am I to believe from passages like this?

Deuteronomy 22:28-29

28If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

So if an unmarried virgin is raped and caught then all the rapist has to do to be okay with God and his community is pay the father fifty sheckles of silver?? And THEN, the raped victim has to marry the rapist??? What madness is this? Think of your daughters, your sisters. Women, think of yourselves.

People will ask me, what is your point? Why are you writing this? Or they will say I am a backslidden, post-modern, atheist, Buddhist, blah, blah, blah. Those accusations mean nothing to me.

I’m just looking for someone to be reasonable and say, in agreement with me, that these things are terrible. That’s all I’m looking for. A friend of mine calls it intellectual honesty. I’m no theologian and I don’t pretend to be. But I am a person of normal intelligence and a moral conscience. I’m trying to navigate this beautiful world. Trying to navigate my faith. Trying to maintain intellectual integrity and to pursue truth…no matter what I have to shed to do it. Many of you who read this blog believe that the Bible is literal truth. This post is an indictment for you. Out of love, of course, but no less a charge to explain yourselves. Not just to me. But to your wives, your mothers, your sisters, and your daughters.

Thanks for reading.

Ten Desert Island Records, Part 1

Update: This is a top ten list. Below is the introduction to the post series I accidentally omitted. Whoopsies!!

I don't know why human beings like to limit themselves to lists. I guess it's nice to give yourself some paramaters to scale down an opinion, arrive at some approximate goals, etc. This is the first of five top TEN desert island records posts. Each week I'll do two out of the ten and why. Thankfully, it would be extremely rare for any of us to be stranded on an island without our Ipods. And even if some unseen events catapulted us into that scenerio, the power would run out at some point. So the question you have to ask yourself is: what records would my soul continue to sing if music was no longer available to me? If Armageddon happened and only you and a small few were left to rebuild, what songs would you sing to reanimate the world? Here are my ten. What are yours?


Rufus Wainwright – Poses

A few months ago I was going to do a post of the top ten songs and the top ten records with the most plays on my iPod. I had my theories about what would surface in those beloved spots but I was absolutely shocked to see that both lists were dominated by this record and its wonderful songs. This record came out in 2000 but I didn’t purchase it until 2003. I was working at the Coconuts music by the Galleria in Hoover and noticed it used on a shelf. I had, of course, heard a lot about him from very trustworthy sources and had even come across his cover of “Across the Universe.” But nothing could have prepared me for the long journeys I would make with this record. With these songs. From the whimsical confessions of “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk” to the startling mortal consciousness of “In a Graveyard” this record is devastatingly gorgeous. I’ll never tire of hearing the indictment of cool in “Poses” or of the tortured double life of “Greek Song” or the dreamscape of “Grey Gardens.” Rufus’ tribute to his father, “One Man Guy” surpasses the original in every way. This record is filled with lush strings, soaring melodies, a consistently compelling lyric, and the romantic musings of the heart-worn. There are literally no missteps.

Ryan Adams – Love Is Hell

What can I say about this record? It is the first Ryan Adams record I ever heard and to this day, many records and many hours of listening later, it is still the most hard hitting, emotionally resonate work I have ever heard from him. It is filled with darkness but also very delicate, beautiful, and vulnerable. My favorites are and have always been, “City Rain, City Streets”, “Afraid, Not Scared”, and “Avalanche.” The guitar sounds on this record are still a mystery to me and his voice is a powerful, healing siren of pain and beauty. The whispering moments of “Please Do Not Let Me Go” and “I See Monsters” are breathtaking. A record slips into transcendence for me when every time I listen to it I hear new things. I was listening to the first track, “Political Scientist” the other day and heard an entire piano part that I have never noticed. You begin to snake through a record as familiar as this and turn over leaves you thought nothing could be under. And it’s a pure delight to find something there, beautiful and waiting to be discovered.

Give me two of yours.